Chandra Eden, The True Me Yogi

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The Power of Now

Author: Eckhart Tolle

"This sounds to me like denial and self-deception. When something dreadful happens to me or someone close to me - accident, illness, pain of some kind, or death - I can pretend that it isn't bad, but the fact remains that it IS bad, so why deny it?

You are not pretending anything. You are allowing it to be as it is, that's all. This 'allowing to be' takes you beyond the mind with its resistance patterns that create the positive-negative polarities. It is an essential aspect of forgiveness. Forgivness of the present is even more important than forgiveness of the past. If you forgive every moment - allow it to be as it is - then there will be no accumulation of resentment that needs to be forgiven at some later time.

Remember that we are not talking about happiness here. For example, when a loved one has just died, or you feel your own death approaching, you cannot be happy. It is impossible. But you can be at peace. There may be sadness and tears, but provided that you have relinquished resistance, underneath the sadness you will feel a deep serenity, a stillness, a sacred presence. This is the emanation of Being, this is inner peace, the good that has no opposite."

How to Let Life Be Without Screaming Into the Void (Too Much)

Life has a way of throwing curveballs that hit you square in the face. Accidents, illnesses, heartbreak, death—none of us are immune to the chaos. When these moments come, our first instinct is often to resist, to fight, to scream, “This isn’t fair!” And you know what? You’re absolutely right—it’s not fair. But here’s the hard truth: resisting reality doesn’t change it. It just makes you miserable.

This isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending everything is fine when it’s clearly not. It’s about something much harder—and much more freeing. It’s about learning to let life be exactly as it is, even when it’s messy, painful, or downright awful. Let’s break it down.

Resistance: The Double-Edged Sword

When something bad happens, resistance feels like the natural response. You want to push back, to reject the situation, to mentally rewrite the script. But here’s the thing: resistance doesn’t just fail to fix the problem—it actually makes it worse.

Imagine you’re stuck in traffic. The cars aren’t moving, and you’re late for an important meeting. You can honk your horn, curse the universe, and stew in frustration, but none of that will magically clear the road. What you’re really doing is adding a second layer of suffering on top of the first. The traffic is the reality; your resistance is the misery you’re choosing to pile on top of it.

Now, scale that up to life’s bigger challenges—grief, illness, loss. Resisting these moments doesn’t make them go away. It just traps you in a cycle of wishing things were different, which only deepens your pain.

Allowing: The Radical Alternative

So, what’s the alternative? Allowing. And no, this doesn’t mean giving up or condoning what’s happening. Allowing is about dropping the fight against reality. It’s about saying, “This is what’s happening right now, and I’m not going to waste my energy pretending it’s not.”

Allowing doesn’t mean you won’t feel sadness, anger, or grief. You will. But when you stop resisting, those emotions can flow through you instead of getting stuck and turning into bitterness or resentment. It’s like unclogging a drain—once you let the emotions move freely, they don’t fester.

This practice of allowing is not passive. It’s an active choice to face life as it is, without the mental gymnastics of wishing it were different. It’s hard, yes, but it’s also liberating.

The Peace Beneath the Pain

Here’s where it gets interesting: when you stop resisting the present moment, you create space for something deeper to emerge. Beneath the chaos, there’s a stillness—a kind of peace that doesn’t depend on external circumstances.

This isn’t the kind of peace you find on a beach vacation or in a perfectly quiet room. It’s a peace that can coexist with sadness, anger, or even fear. It’s the kind of peace that says, “Yes, this is hard, but I’m okay.”

For example, when a loved one dies, no amount of positive thinking will make you happy about it. And that’s okay. Happiness isn’t the goal here. Peace is. And peace doesn’t come from pretending everything’s fine; it comes from allowing everything to be exactly as it is.

Forgiveness in Real Time

This practice of allowing is also the foundation of forgiveness—not just of others, but of life itself. When you forgive the present moment, you’re not saying, “This is great!” You’re saying, “This is what it is, and I’m not going to let my resistance to it destroy me.”

Forgiveness isn’t just about the past. It’s about the present. If you can forgive each moment as it comes—allow it to be as it is—you won’t accumulate the resentment and bitterness that need to be dealt with later. It’s like cleaning up as you go, instead of letting the mess pile up until it’s overwhelming.

And here’s the kicker: this isn’t just about the big, dramatic moments of life. Sure, it’s crucial when you’re facing loss or tragedy, but it’s just as important in the small, everyday annoyances. The traffic jam, the spilled coffee, the coworker who won’t stop talking about their cat—these are all opportunities to practice allowing.

The Myth of Control

One of the biggest reasons we resist reality is because we think we should be able to control it. We cling to the illusion that if we just try hard enough, we can make life go exactly the way we want. Spoiler alert: we can’t.

Life is unpredictable, messy, and often unfair. The sooner we accept that, the sooner we can stop wasting energy on a fight we can’t win. Letting go of the need for control doesn’t mean you stop caring or trying. It means you stop tying your peace of mind to outcomes you can’t guarantee.

The Practice of Allowing

So, how do you actually practice allowing? Start small. The next time you’re stuck in traffic or dealing with a minor annoyance, take a deep breath and remind yourself, “This is what’s happening right now. I don’t have to like it, but I don’t have to fight it either.”

When bigger challenges come, the same principle applies. Acknowledge the pain, the sadness, the anger—whatever you’re feeling. Let it be there without judgment. You don’t have to fix it or make it go away. Just let it exist.

Over time, this practice becomes a habit. And as it does, you’ll find that life’s challenges don’t hit you quite as hard. They’re still there, but they don’t knock you off balance the way they used to.

The Freedom of Letting Life Be

At the end of the day, allowing life to be as it is doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It means you’re choosing peace over resistance, acceptance over denial, and freedom over the illusion of control.

Life will always have its challenges. There will be pain, loss, and moments of heartbreak. But there will also be peace, stillness, and a sacred presence that emerges when you stop fighting reality.

So, the next time life throws you a curveball, try this: instead of resisting, allow. Let the moment be what it is, even if it’s messy, painful, or downright awful. You don’t have to like it, and you don’t have to be happy about it. But if you can stop fighting it, you might just find a stillness underneath the chaos—a peace that no amount of resistance can ever give you.

And that, my friend, is the kind of freedom that changes everything.