Perfection Is a Scam
Chandra Eden, The True Me Yogi
Sun Tzu for Women
Author: Becky Sheetz-Runkle
"Talking about excellence is easy. Achieving it is tough. But if excellence is difficult, perfection is elusive at best. After a lot of practice and focus, you may grasp perfection for a moment, only to have it slip through your fingers, like vapor. Sword instructor Sensei David Drawdy put it in a way I'll neve forget. 'You'll never really achieve perfection. You may perform a technique perfectly for a moment. Enjoy that moment - because it will be gone forever,' he said. Perfection can't be grasped or held. It quickly goes from is to was. This is an important lesson for many women who hold themselves to unobtainable standards, never allowing themselves to appreciate or enjoy their many achievements."
Perfection Is a Scam: Why "Good Enough" Wins Every Time
We all love the idea of perfection. It’s clean, it’s flawless, it’s the Instagram-filtered fantasy we scroll through late at night. We talk about striving for it, whether it’s crafting the perfect presentation, hosting the perfect dinner party, or finding the perfect comeback to an argument three hours too late. Talking about it is easy. It sounds noble.
Achieving it? That’s a whole different beast. The pursuit of excellence is a worthy, challenging climb. It involves practice, focus, and a whole lot of grit. But the pursuit ofperfectionis something else entirely. It’s a ghost hunt. As a wise sword instructor once said, you might perform a technique perfectly for a moment, but that moment is gone as soon as it arrives. It goes from "is" to "was" in a heartbeat.
This relentless chase for an unattainable standard is exhausting. We become so focused on the one crooked picture frame that we fail to see the beautiful room we’ve created. It’s time to stop chasing ghosts and start celebrating the very real, very excellent achievements we earn every day.
The Toxic Allure of the Perfect Moment
Perfection is a liar. It promises ultimate satisfaction but only delivers fleeting moments followed by the crushing weight of trying to replicate them. It’s the addiction to the peak without any respect for the climb. We’ve built a culture that worships the highlight reel, and it’s making us miserable.
This isn’t just a feeling; it’s a well-documented phenomenon. Studies have shown that perfectionism is linked to a host of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and burnout. When we set an impossible standard, we are guaranteeing our own failure. Every project, every interaction, every attempt at something new is judged against a flawless ideal that never existed in the first place. This creates a constant state of low-grade anxiety and a feeling of never being good enough.
The chase for perfection keeps us from appreciating our own hard-won victories. Instead of celebrating a 95% score, we obsess over the 5% we missed. We spend more time critiquing our performance than enjoying the applause.
Everyday Perfectionism Traps
This isn't some abstract philosophical problem. It shows up in our daily lives in subtle, corrosive ways.
The Flawless Dinner Party:You spend a week planning a dinner party. The menu is ambitious, the playlist is curated, and the house is spotless. But then, the soufflé deflates slightly. One guest is 15 minutes late. A conversation lulls for a few seconds. Instead of enjoying the laughter and connection, you're mentally cataloging every tiny imperfection. The night becomes a failure in your mind, even as your friends are thanking you for a wonderful time.
The Perfect Email:You need to send a simple follow-up email. Instead of taking five minutes, you spend 45. You rewrite sentences, agonize over punctuation, and second-guess your tone. You’re not trying to communicate clearly (excellence); you’re trying to write the platonic ideal of an email (perfection). The result is wasted time and unnecessary stress over a task that barely registers on anyone else's radar.
The "Ready for My Close-Up" Zoom Call:You have an important video meeting. You spend 30 minutes adjusting your lighting, curating the bookshelf behind you, and making sure not a single hair is out of place. During the call, you’re so distracted by your own on-screen image and whether you look "perfect" that you miss key points of the conversation. The pursuit of a flawless appearance undermines your actual professional performance.
In each scenario, the quest for perfection doesn't elevate the experience; it sabotages it. It shifts the focus from the goal (connection, communication, collaboration) to the performance.
Trading Perfection for Excellence
So if perfection is a trap, what's the alternative? The answer is excellence. Unlike perfection, excellence is attainable, sustainable, and deeply rewarding.
Excellence is about doing your best with the resources you have. It embraces the process—the learning, the mistakes, the growth. Perfection demands a flawless outcome; excellence celebrates a valiant effort. It’s the difference between wanting tobethe best and wanting todoyour best. One is a static identity; the other is an active, ongoing process.
Here’s how you can start letting go of the ghost of perfection and embrace the power of excellence.
1. Celebrate the "Good Enough" Victory
Not every task deserves 100% of your energy. The "good enough" principle isn't about being lazy; it's about being strategic. Completing a task to 85% and moving on is often far more productive than spending double the time to inch it up to 95%.
Ask yourself: What is the actual goal here? Does this task require a masterpiece, or does it just need to be done? Sending that email, folding the laundry, or making a simple weeknight dinner are all areas where "done" is better than "perfect." Save your energy for the things that truly matter.
2. Embrace the "Was"
That sword sensei was onto something powerful. When you do achieve a moment of brilliance—you nail the presentation, you cook the perfect steak, you say exactly the right thing—enjoy it. Savor that moment. And then let it go.
Don't let a past success become the impossible standard for your future. Itwasperfect. That doesn't mean everything hereafter must be. Acknowledge the achievement, feel the pride, and then move on to the next challenge without the burden of having to replicate that fleeting moment. This frees you to be present and to find new moments of excellence.
3. Collect Your Wins
Perfectionists have a terrible habit of fixating on their failures. To counteract this, you need to actively catalog your successes. At the end of each day or week, take two minutes to write down three things you accomplished.
They don't have to be monumental. "Finally scheduled that dentist appointment," "Handled a difficult client with grace," or "Made it through all my meetings without losing my mind" are all valid wins. This practice retrains your brain to look for evidence of your competence, not your inadequacy. It builds a library of your achievements that you can draw on when self-doubt creeps in.
A Life of Excellent Imperfection
Letting go of perfection isn't about lowering your standards. It's about setting better, more realistic ones. It’s about giving yourself the grace to be human. Life is messy, progress is non-linear, and excellence is found in the effort, not in the absence of flaws.
When you stop chasing a flawless ideal, you free yourself to innovate, to take risks, and to truly enjoy your life. You can finally appreciate the beautiful, messy, and excellent reality you've built. The goal isn’t to create a perfect life. It’s to live a full and meaningful one, imperfections and all. And that is a far more worthy pursuit.