Chandra Eden, The True Me Yogi

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The Sedona Method

Author: Hale Dwoskin

"It's mine, that's why." Pride is a shifty emotion. For we don't only feel proud of our accomplishments, we also get really hooked into being subtly proud of our problems. We feel so special for having them. This pitfall on the path to freedom may take the form of feeling proud of having prevailed even with the problem, proud of having borne it for so long, or proud of having a problem that is unique to us alone."

Pride: The Glue That Keeps Your Problems Stuck to You

The Problem with Being Proud of Your Problems

There’s a certain glint people get in their eyes when they talk about “their” problem. And I don’t mean the problem they’re currently trying to solve. I mean their problem. The one they’ve had for years. The one they’ve woven into their backstory. The one they defend like a beloved family pet that occasionally bites people but is “just misunderstood.”

It’s the way someone will say, “Oh, I’m terrible with money,” not with embarrassment but with a shrug and a half-smile, as if it’s an endearing quirk. Or when someone proclaims, “I can’t do mornings,” in the same tone as if they just told you they were born with an extra kidney—rare, special, and to be handled with reverence.

That’s the thing about pride: once it wraps itself around a problem, it stops being a thing you deal with and starts being a thing you are. And that’s dangerous, because the moment your problem becomes part of your identity, you’ll defend it, justify it, and—worst of all—keep it.

The Greatest Hits of Problem Pride

You don’t have to look far to find examples. Honestly, you might not even have to look outside your bathroom mirror.

1. The Overworker

They clock 80-hour weeks and tell you about it the way other people tell you about their vacation to Greece. Except instead of beaches and sunsets, their stories are about all-nighters and triple espressos. The subtext? “I’m indispensable. I’m tough. I’m valuable because I’m exhausted.”
But if you peel away the humble-brag, what you often find is fear—fear of slowing down, fear of being replaceable, or fear of facing what’s left when the work stops.

2. The Brutal Truth-Teller

You know this one. They’ll proudly say, “I’m just brutally honest,” as if honesty is a free pass to act like a verbal chainsaw. It’s the conversational equivalent of saying, “I light fires because I like warmth.”
Yes, honesty matters—but so does tact, timing, and kindness. Being proud of not caring how your words land isn’t strength—it’s emotional laziness wrapped in a bow.

3. The Chronic Cynic

“I don’t trust anyone.” They say it like they’ve just revealed the key to survival in a dystopian sci-fi movie. And sure, some skepticism is healthy. But when mistrust becomes your operating system, you’re not just filtering out potential threats—you’re filtering out potential joy, connection, and collaboration.

4. The Martyr

This person “always puts others first.” Which sounds noble until you realize it’s often a cocktail of poor boundaries, deep-seated guilt, and the hope that someone will eventually notice and give them a standing ovation. They’re not just proud of their self-sacrifice—they use it as currency.

Why Pride Makes Problems Hard to Quit

When pride gets tangled up with a problem, it rewires how you see it. If it’s just a bad habit, you can change it. If it’s part of who you are, changing it feels like betrayal.

Think about it: If you’ve been saying for years, “I’m just terrible with technology,” it’s not just a statement—it’s a shield. If you don’t try, you can’t fail. And if you do try and succeed, you have to face the fact that you’ve been holding yourself back for no reason other than comfort.

This is why pride can be such a sneaky saboteur. It doesn’t come in yelling, “Don’t change!” It whispers, “This is just who you are. Don’t lose yourself.”

The Secret Comfort of Familiar Pain

Let’s be real: the devil you know is weirdly comforting. Even if it’s making you miserable. Familiar pain is predictable—it has a rhythm. You know how to navigate it. You’ve built your life around it. Change, on the other hand, is unpredictable. Even positive change comes with uncertainty, and humans are wired to fear uncertainty more than discomfort. That’s why some people will stay in a toxic job, cling to an unhelpful mindset, or keep telling themselves the same self-limiting story—because at least they know how the story ends.

Pride feeds this. It says, “You’ve mastered this pain. You’ve built resilience here. You’re good at living with this.” Which is like saying you’re an expert at living in a windowless basement—sure, you’ve learned how to function in it, but imagine what sunlight could do for you.

The “World’s Best Dumpster” Effect

Here’s the mental picture that gets me every time: Being proud of your problem is like winning World’s Best Dumpster.

Yes, you’re technically the best in your category. You’ve kept your trash neat, you’ve organized the broken glass from the banana peels, maybe even put up some fairy lights to make it cozy. But at the end of the day… it’s still a dumpster. And the only reason you haven’t left it? Pride. Because you’ve invested in making that dumpster yours.

How to Break the Pride-Problem Bond

Breaking free isn’t about shame—it’s about honesty.

Here’s where to start:

• Use NLP
  You know I'm going to suggest what I do first: Use Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) to make changes easily and effortlessly. Find out more at thetruemeyogi.com.

• Separate Identity from Habit
  Stop saying, “I am…” about things you want to change. Instead of “I’m terrible with money,” try “I’ve made poor money choices in the past, but I’m learning.” Language matters—it shifts your brain from fixed identity to evolving behavior.

• Get Curious, Not Defensive
  When someone calls out your problem, instead of immediately defending it, ask yourself, “Why am I so quick to protect this?” Defensiveness often signals an identity attachment.

• Imagine the Alternative
  Really picture your life without the problem. Not vaguely—specifically. How would you spend your time, your energy, your attention? If that image feels both exciting and uncomfortable, you’re onto something.

• Replace the Story
  You can’t just delete an identity—you need a new one to step into. Replace “I’m the one who…” with “I’m becoming the person who…”

The Final Word

Pride is an incredible force when it’s attached to growth. It’s a brick wall when it’s attached to stagnation. Be proud of the mountain you climbed, not the hole you dug and refused to leave. Be proud of the chapter where you moved forward, not the one where you sat in the same plotline for a decade.

Next time you feel yourself lovingly polishing up a personal flaw to present to the world, stop and ask:
Do I want to be remembered for this problem—or for what I became after I let it go?

Because your life is too valuable to waste winning awards in categories you never meant to enter.