Chandra Eden, The True Me Yogi

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High Performance Habits

Author: Brendan Burchard

“Develop influence with those around you. It will make you better at getting people to believe in and support your efforts and ambitions. Unless you consciously develop a positive support network, major achievements over the long haul are all but impossible."

Success Is Usually a Group Project (Even If You’d Prefer to Avoid People)

“Develop influence with those around you. It will make you better at getting people to believe in and support your efforts and ambitions.”

This quote sounds inspiring until you remember it involves interacting with other humans.

Which is unfortunate, because humans are complicated.

Some are supportive.
Some are draining.
Some communicate beautifully.
Some send “K.” as a complete text message and somehow destabilize your nervous system for three hours.

But the quote points to something deeply true:

Long-term success is rarely built alone.

Even the most independent people rely on:
• encouragement
• opportunity
• collaboration
• emotional support
• trust
• relationships

And yet many people spend years trying to achieve massive goals while accidentally alienating everyone around them through stress, defensiveness, poor communication, or what can only be described as “emotionally unavailable productivity mode.”

This is where NLP — Neuro-Linguistic Programming — becomes especially interesting.

Because NLP recognizes something many people overlook:

Influence is not primarily about control.

It is about connection.

And one of the most powerful NLP tools for connection is rapport.

Rapport is the ability to create a sense of trust, comfort, understanding, and psychological safety with another person.

Not manipulation.

Not fake charm.

Not becoming a motivational golden retriever in human form.

Real rapport is about helping people feel:
• heard
• understood
• emotionally safe
• connected

And humans are far more likely to support people they feel connected to.

This matters enormously in both personal and professional life.

Because many people assume influence comes from:
• being the smartest
• the loudest
• the most accomplished
• the most dominant

But often, influence comes from something much simpler:

People feel good around you.

That’s powerful.

NLP teaches that humans naturally connect through similarity and familiarity. This is why rapport-building techniques often involve subtle matching of:
• communication style
• pacing
• emotional tone
• energy
• language patterns

Not in a creepy “sales seminar from 2004” way.

In a human way.

For example, highly analytical people often communicate differently than emotionally expressive people.

One person wants details.
Another wants emotional resonance.

If you only communicate in your own preferred style, connection becomes harder.

Rapport involves flexibility.

It asks:
“How can I communicate in a way this person can actually receive?”

That one shift improves relationships dramatically.

And honestly, a surprising number of conflicts are not caused by bad intentions.

They’re caused by people speaking completely different emotional languages while assuming the other person is just difficult.

Now, the quote also mentions building a positive support network.

This is another area where many ambitious people quietly sabotage themselves.

Some people want extraordinary growth while surrounding themselves with:
• chronic negativity
• constant criticism
• emotional chaos
• people threatened by change
• relationships built entirely around old versions of themselves

Then they wonder why growth feels exhausting.

Humans are deeply influenced by emotional environments.

NLP recognizes that repeated language, beliefs, and emotional patterns shape internal reality over time.

Which means the people around you matter more than most people realize.

If you spend years surrounded by people who:
• mock ambition
• normalize dysfunction
• discourage growth
• resist accountability

your nervous system eventually adapts to that environment.

Not because you are weak.

Because humans are relational creatures.

This does not mean cutting off everyone who occasionally complains or has flaws. If that were the standard, all humans would eventually have to communicate through carrier pigeons.

But it does mean being intentional about proximity.

Who expands your thinking?
Who supports your growth?
Who regulates instead of destabilizes your nervous system?
Who reminds you who you are becoming instead of only who you used to be?

Those questions matter.

Because major achievements are rarely sustained through motivation alone.

They are sustained through emotional ecosystems.

And perhaps that’s the deeper truth hidden inside the quote:

Influence is not about forcing people to support your ambitions.

It is about becoming the kind of person others naturally trust, believe in, and want to build alongside.

That kind of influence lasts longer.

Because it’s built on connection instead of control.

And connection — unlike pressure, performance, or constant self-protection — is what usually helps people grow the farthest over time.