The Superpower of Shutting Up
Chandra Eden, The True Me Yogi
SoundPath
Author: Karen Olson, Ph.D.
"I believe that sound is born from silence. In every aspect of life, silence precipitates connection and the quality of our communication. For example, the quality of our leaderhip is direcrtly related to the level that we can embrace the silence within. A great leader must be able to tune in and listen to the messages and directions of those we lead, starting with ourselves.
Tuning in means slowing down and finding moments to sit in silence, connect with your breath, and feel its rhythm. Practice doing this as a meditation each day. Listen to what your heart is trying to commuicate, the meaning that takes shape in the space between the words. Sound can sometimes drown out meaning, while allowing space can reveal what's truly important, especially in uncertainty. The quiet voice brings us the clearest message."
The Superpower of Shutting Up
Our world has a noise problem. We’re drowning in a constant barrage of pings, dings, hot takes, and endless chatter. We fill every spare moment with a podcast, a playlist, or a panic-scroll through social media. Silence has become so rare that when we encounter it, it feels awkward, like an unexpected guest at a party. We rush to fill it with words—any words—just to make the quiet go away.
But what if silence isn't a void to be filled? What if it's the secret ingredient we're all missing? The quote puts it perfectly: sound is born from silence. Meaning isn't found in the noise; it's discovered in the spaces between the words. The ability to embrace silence isn't just for monks on a mountaintop. It’s a practical, powerful tool for better communication, smarter leadership, and understanding what the hell you actually want out of life.
The quiet voice often brings the clearest message, but you’ll never hear it if you don't turn down the volume on everything else. It’s time to get comfortable with quiet and learn how to use it as the superpower it is.
Why We're Terrified of Turning It Down
Let’s be honest: most of us are silence-avoidant. An unfilled pause in a conversation feels like a failure. We equate talking with contributing and loudness with confidence. In a meeting, the person who speaks the most is often perceived as the leader, even if they’re just spouting well-packaged nonsense.
This fear of quiet drives us to fill every gap. We talk over people, finish their sentences, and jump in with a half-baked thought just to avoid a moment of stillness. We've trained ourselves to believe that silence is unproductive, a sign that nothing is happening. In reality, it’s where everything important begins to take shape.
Think about it. The most impactful moments in music aren't just the crescendo; they're the dramatic pause right before it. The funniest part of a joke is often the beat of silence before the punchline. Silence creates tension, commands attention, and gives ideas room to land and breathe.
The Strategic Power of the Pause
In a professional setting, mastering the art of the pause can feel like a cheat code for effective communication. It’s a subtle move with an outsized impact.
Consider these scenarios:
The Negotiation Ninja:You’ve just stated your price or proposed your terms. Instead of immediately justifying it or rambling nervously, you stop talking. You let the silence hang in the air. This move conveys confidence. It forces the other party to sit with your proposal and be the first to respond, often revealing their position in the process.
The Meeting Whisperer:In a heated debate where everyone is talking over each other, the person who waits, lets the noise die down, and then speaks calmly into the resulting quiet instantly commands the room's attention. Their words carry more weight precisely because they weren't part of the initial chaos.
The Brilliant Brainstormer:Instead of jumping on the first idea, a smart leader will pose a question and then create intentional space for the team to think. This quiet moment allows for deeper, more considered ideas to surface, rather than just rewarding the fastest talker.
Silence isn't passive. It's an active, strategic choice. It signals that you're listening, thinking, and confident enough not to fill every moment with the sound of your own voice.
Tuning In: Finding Clarity in the Quiet
The external benefits of silence are powerful, but the internal benefits are life-changing. The quote nails it: the quality of our leadership is directly tied to our ability to embrace the silence within. You can't lead others if you can’t even hear yourself think.
"Tuning in" means creating moments to sit with yourself, without distraction. It's a chance to connect with what your gut, your heart, or whatever you want to call that quiet inner voice is trying to tell you. This is the voice that gets drowned out by your inbox, your to-do list, and the 24-hour news cycle.
This is the voice that knows whether you’re truly happy in your job or just comfortable. It’s the voice that has the solution to that nagging problem you've been overthinking. But it doesn't shout; it whispers. You have to get quiet to hear it.
How to Inject More Silence into Your Noisy Life
Embracing silence doesn't require a ten-day silent retreat (though that sounds both terrifying and amazing). You can start weaving it into your life with small, practical habits.
1. Practice the "Sacred First 15"
Before you grab your phone to check emails or see what you missed on Instagram overnight, give yourself 15 minutes. Just 15. Use this time to sit with a cup of coffee or tea and do absolutely nothing. Stare out the window. Connect with your breath. Notice the rhythm of your own body. This small act sets a tone of intentionality for the day, allowing you to start from a place of calm instead of immediate reaction.
2. Take a "Sound Fast"
Challenge yourself to a short "sound fast." This could be a 20-minute walk without headphones, a drive with the radio off, or an evening of reading a book instead of watching TV. You’ll be shocked at how loud your own thoughts are at first. Stick with it. This is your brain processing the backlog of information it hasn't had a chance to sort. The initial noise will eventually give way to clarity.
3. Become an Active Listener
The next time you're in a conversation, focus on listening not just to respond, but to understand. When the other person finishes speaking, take a full breath before you reply. This small pause does two things: it ensures you’ve actually heard them, and it gives you a moment to formulate a more thoughtful response. It makes the other person feel truly heard and respected.
The Clearest Message Is in the Quiet
Our culture celebrates the loud, the fast, and the busy. But wisdom, connection, and true progress are often found in the opposite. They are found in the deliberate pause, the thoughtful silence, and the quiet space where we can finally hear ourselves.
By learning to embrace silence, you’re not just becoming a better communicator or a more effective leader. You're giving yourself the greatest gift of all: access to your own inner wisdom. The answers you're looking for are rarely in the noise. They're waiting for you in the quiet. You just have to be willing to listen.