Turning Life's Dumpster Fires into BBQs: How Your Biggest Problems Cook Up Your Best Opportunities
Chandra Eden, The True Me Yogi
Sun Tzu for Women
Author: Becky Sheetz-Runkle
"Sun Tzu emphasizes the importance of seizing opportunities, no matter what the circumstances. As Lionel Giles translates: If, on the other hand, in the midst of difficulties we are always ready to seize an advantage, we may extricate ourselves from misfortune.
Even when the challenges you face seem to daunting, look for ways to win. The strong leader knows that with each victory and each defeat she lives through and learns from, she grows more capable of reaching her full potential. 'Ten times down, eleven times up,' is the philosophy of those who've triumphed over obstacles.
Despite how well it prepares us for what lies ahead, we rarely view adversity as a good thing. Naturally, we want to avoid difficulty, but conclict and trials should be viewed as opportunities. They're chances to learn, grow and excel. Without conclict and adverisy, you'll never know what you're capable of."
Turning Life’s Dumpster Fires into BBQs: How Your Biggest Problems Cook Up Your Best Opportunities
Nobody likes problems. We spend a significant amount of our lives trying to avoid difficulty, sidestep conflict, and build a nice, smooth road for ourselves. We see adversity as a sign that something has gone wrong—a punishment, a setback, or just plain bad luck. But what if this entire perspective is flawed? What if adversity isn't the obstacle to our success, but the essential ingredient for it?
An ancient military strategist, Sun Tzu, knew a thing or two about tough spots. He argued for the importance of seizing opportunities, no matter how dire the circumstances. Even in the middle of a disaster, there's a chance to gain an advantage and pull yourself out of the mess. This idea isn't just for battlefield generals. It's a powerful philosophy for anyone who wants to do more than just survive.
Conflict, trials, and good old-fashioned adversity are opportunities in disguise. They are chances to learn what you're made of, grow beyond your limits, and discover what you're truly capable of achieving. Without them, you’re just guessing at your own potential.
The Myth of the Easy Path
We are obsessed with the idea of an easy life. We want get-rich-quick schemes, "one weird trick" for a perfect body, and shortcuts to success. We look at successful people and often assume they had some innate talent or lucky break that made their journey effortless. This is a comforting, but ultimately damaging, fantasy.
The truth is, growth doesn't happen when things are easy. Muscles don't get stronger by lifting light weights. They get stronger when they are pushed to the point of strain and then given time to repair and rebuild. Your character, skills, and resilience work the exact same way. Adversity is the heavy lifting for your soul.
Avoiding difficulty doesn't make you safe; it makes you weak. When you deliberately stay in situations where you are never challenged, you never have to develop the tools to handle hardship. Then, when an unavoidable problem comes along—and it always does—you're completely unprepared to face it.
Learning to Win, Even When You're Losing
A core principle from the quote is that even when challenges seem overwhelming, you should be looking for ways to win. This doesn't necessarily mean achieving a total, crushing victory over the problem in one go. It means finding small advantages, learning key lessons, and making incremental progress.
Think of it like this:
The Business Setback:Your startup loses a major client, and panic sets in. The "loss" is obvious. But where is the opportunity? This is a chance to analyze why the client left, improve your service, and diversify your client base so you're never this vulnerable again. The adversity forced you to build a stronger, more resilient business model. Your small "win" is the lesson learned.
The Career Rejection:You get turned down for your dream job. The disappointment is real. Instead of just moving on, you could ask for feedback. Perhaps you learn you need to strengthen a specific skill. The adversity of rejection just gave you a clear, personalized roadmap for your professional development. Your "win" is gaining priceless insight.
The Personal Project Failure:You launch a creative project, and it gets zero traction. It’s tempting to scrap it and feel defeated. But what can you learn? You can analyze your marketing, your messaging, or the project itself. The failure becomes a free masterclass in what doesn't work, making your next attempt far more likely to succeed.
The strong leader, or just a resilient person, understands this. Every defeat is a data point. Every struggle is a training session. The philosophy of "ten times down, eleven times up" belongs to those who see failure not as a final verdict, but as part of the process of rising.
Why You Should Run Toward Conflict (Sometimes)
Naturally, our instinct is to avoid conflict. It’s uncomfortable and stressful. But a life without any conflict is a life without growth. Conflict forces us to clarify our values, defend our positions, and learn how to communicate effectively.
This doesn’t mean you should pick fights in the grocery store. It means you shouldn’t run from necessary confrontations or challenging conversations.
At Work:Disagreeing with a popular idea in a meeting is a form of conflict. It's risky, but it's also an opportunity to demonstrate critical thinking and potentially save a project from a bad decision.
In Relationships:Having the tough conversation about a recurring issue is conflict. Avoiding it leads to resentment and distance. Facing it is an opportunity to deepen understanding and strengthen the bond.
With Yourself:Confronting your own bad habits, limiting beliefs, or procrastination is an internal conflict. It’s the battle between your comfort zone and your potential. Winning this conflict is the foundation of all personal growth.
Without these trials, you will never know what you're truly capable of. You might live your whole life believing you're a "non-confrontational" person, when in reality, you're a person who is perfectly capable of advocating for yourself but has just never been pushed to do so.
How to Start Turning Adversity into Advantage
Thinking of problems as opportunities is a great first step, but how do you put it into practice? It requires a conscious shift in your mindset and actions when things get tough.
1. Reframe the Problem Immediately
When a challenge arises, your first emotional reaction will likely be negative. Acknowledge it, but then deliberately ask a different question. Instead of "Why is this happening to me?" ask, "What does this situation now make possible?" or "What can I learn from this?" This simple linguistic shift moves you from a victim mentality to an strategist's mindset.
2. Look for the Smallest Possible "Win"
Don't get overwhelmed by the size of the problem. Break it down and look for a tiny piece you can control. If you've been laid off, you can't get a new job in an hour. But youcanupdate your resume, call one person in your network, or spend 30 minutes researching companies. Each small action is a "win" that builds momentum and fights the feeling of powerlessness.
3. Conduct a Post-Mortem on Every Failure
Treat your failures like a scientist. When something goes wrong, get curious. What were the variables? What was my process? What were the external factors? What would I do differently next time? Analyze your setbacks without judgment. A mistake only becomes a true failure if you refuse to learn from it.
4. Increase Your Tolerance for Discomfort
Intentionally expose yourself to small, controlled challenges. This builds your resilience "muscle." Try a new skill you know you'll be bad at initially. Take a fitness class that's a level above your current ability. Volunteer to lead a project that feels slightly intimidating. The more you practice being uncomfortable, the less you'll fear it when real adversity strikes.
Your Potential Is on the Other Side of a Problem
The smooth, easy, problem-free life you might be wishing for doesn't exist. And even if it did, it wouldn't lead you to a place of strength, wisdom, or fulfillment. Your greatest moments of growth will almost always be linked to your greatest challenges.
Adversity is not the universe punishing you. It’s the universe inviting you to level up. It’s a chance to prove to yourself how resourceful, resilient, and powerful you can be. The next time you face a daunting problem, try to see it for what it is: not an obstacle blocking your path, but a stepping stone toward your full potential.