Wanted: My Inner Toddler
Chandra Eden, The True Me Yogi
The Success Principles
Author: Jack Canfield
"Your brain is designed to solve any problem and reach any goal that you give it. The words you think and say actually affect your body. We see that in toddlers. When you were a toddler, there was no stopping you. You thought you could climb up on anything. No barrier was too big for you to attempt to overcome. But little by little, your sense of invincibility is conditioned out of you by the emotional and physical abuse that you receive from your family, friends, and teachers, until you no longer believe you can.
You must take responsibility for removing I can't from your vocabulary."
Wanted: My Inner Toddler
Remember being a toddler? Probably not in detail, but you’ve seen them in action. They are relentless, tiny forces of nature. A toddler sees a kitchen counter not as a barrier, but as a mountain to be conquered. A closed door isn’t a dead end; it’s a puzzle to be solved with vigorous rattling and maybe a bit of drool. Toddlers operate with a built-in sense of glorious, reckless invincibility. They are problem-solving machines fueled by pure, unfiltered belief.
Your brain is fundamentally designed to solve any problem and reach any goal you give it. The words you think and the language you use have a direct, physical impact on your body and your potential. That fearless toddler you once were didn’t know the meaning of "impossible." But then life happened.
Little by little, that sense of invincibility gets chipped away. It’s conditioned out of you by a thousand tiny cuts: a critical parent, a dismissive teacher, a friend’s casual mockery, the sting of failure. The chorus of "You can't do that," "Be realistic," and "That's not for people like you" becomes your internal monologue. Eventually, you start to believe it. The word "can't" burrows into your vocabulary and sets up shop in your mind, and the fearless toddler goes into hiding.
It's time to take responsibility for evicting that word. It's time to find out what happened to that determined little kid and invite them back into your life.
The Slow Poison of "I Can't"
The phrase "I can't" feels harmless. It feels like a simple statement of fact, a realistic assessment of your limitations. But it’s not. It’s a command. Every time you say "I can't," you are giving your brain—that powerful, goal-oriented supercomputer—a direct order to shut down.
Think about it. When you tell yourself, "I can't learn a new language," your brain doesn't argue. It says, "Okay, boss," and proceeds to ignore language-learning apps, filter out opportunities to practice, and magnify every minor difficulty as proof that the mission is impossible. You’re not just stating a fact; you are actively creating the reality that confirms it.
This conditioning process is subtle but devastating. It starts externally and becomes internal.
Early Childhood:You try to climb the bookshelf. A frantic parent swoops in, "No! You can't do that, you'll get hurt!" The message isn't just about safety; it's about limitation.
School Years:You get a C on a math test. A teacher sighs, "Maybe math just isn't your thing." The message is that your abilities are fixed, not that you need a different strategy.
Adulthood:You fail at a new business venture. You tell yourself, "I can't handle the stress of being an entrepreneur." You have now taken over the job from your parents and teachers. You are conditioning yourself.
This isn't about blaming anyone. Most of this conditioning comes from a place of love or misguided practicality. But the result is the same: you build a cage for yourself made of "can'ts," and you forget you were ever born to be free.
The Neuroscience of Belief
This isn't just motivational fluff; it’s rooted in how your brain works. The words you use trigger neurological and physiological responses. Saying "I'm so stressed" can cause your body to release cortisol, the stress hormone. Conversely, saying "I can handle this" can trigger a more resourceful and calm state.
Your brain’s Reticular Activating System (RAS) acts as a filter for the massive amount of information you encounter daily. When you tell yourself you "can't" do something, you program your RAS to filter out any evidence to the contrary. It will actively ignore opportunities, solutions, and resources that could help you achieve that very thing.
That invincible toddler didn't have a fully programmed RAS filtering for limitations. Their world was pure possibility. Every object was a tool, every person a potential ally, every obstacle a game. They hadn't yet learned to tell themselves a story of defeat before they even began.
Performing an "I Can't" Exorcism
Reclaiming your inner toddler doesn’t mean being reckless or ignoring reality. It means reviving thespiritof that toddler—the spirit of curiosity, persistence, and the audacious belief that you can figure things out. This begins with a conscious and deliberate war on the word "can't."
1. The Swap-Out Strategy
The next time "I can't" pops into your head, immediately challenge it. You don't have to jump straight to "I can." That might feel like a lie. Instead, swap it out for something more neutral and empowering.
Instead of "I can't afford that," try "How can I afford that?" or "That's not a financial priority for me right now."
Instead of "I can't run a 5k," try "I haven't trained to run a 5k yet."
Instead of "I can't possibly speak in front of 100 people," try "Speaking in front of 100 people feels challenging, and I'm going to prepare for it."
This simple linguistic shift is profound. It changes the statement from a dead-end verdict to a solvable problem. It re-engages your brain's problem-solving function, the very function that "I can't" shuts down.
2. Hunt for Micro-Evidence
Your belief in "I can't" is supported by a mountain of evidence you've been collecting for years. To build a new belief, you need to start a new evidence collection. Look for tiny, almost insignificant proof that youcan.
If you believe you "can't" eat healthy, don't focus on overhauling your entire diet. Did you choose water over soda today? That's a piece of evidence. Did you add a salad to your lunch? Evidence. Celebrate these micro-wins. Each one is a small crack in the foundation of your limiting belief.
3. Adopt the Toddler's Mindset: "What If?"
Toddlers are masters of "What if?" thinking. "What if I stack these blocks this way?" "What if I put the spoon on my nose?" This is the essence of curiosity and experimentation. They are not afraid of being wrong; they are just exploring possibilities.
Apply this to your own challenges. When faced with a daunting task, ask yourself, "What if I just tried for 15 minutes?" or "What if I asked for help from someone who knows more than me?" or "What if I approached this like a game instead of a test?" This lowers the stakes and frames the task not as a pass/fail judgment on your worth, but as an experiment in possibility.
4. Separate Identity from Outcome
As we get older, we fuse our identity with our performance. If we fail,weare a failure. A toddler doesn't do this. When a toddler falls down while learning to walk, they don't lie on the floor and have an existential crisis about their identity as a "walker." They just get up and try again. The fall is an event, not a verdict.
You must learn to do the same. If a project fails, the project failed. It doesn't meanyouare a failure. By separating your sense of self-worth from the outcome of your efforts, you give yourself the freedom to try, to fail, and to try again—just like that determined toddler.
Unleash the Force of Nature
Your brain is waiting for instructions. For years, you may have been feeding it a steady diet of limitations, doubts, and "I can'ts." You have trained it to see walls where there are only hurdles.
The good news is that your brain is neuroplastic. It can be rewired. By taking conscious control of your language, by actively challenging your limiting beliefs, and by adopting the curious, persistent, and shame-free spirit of your inner toddler, you can begin to tear down the cage you've built.
Start today. Banish "I can't" from your vocabulary. Replace it with "How can I?" and "What if?" and "I'll try." Feed your brain problems to solve, not conclusions to accept. You were born a relentless force of nature. It's time to remember that.